The following quote came up on Instagram, it just said that ‘Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time.’
It made me start to assess my mental attitude and that was really complicated. The latter was easy to answer but maybe too ‘pat’ in its simplicity. I spend my time looking at my four walls and feeling trapped but within those walls I cook a great deal, wash and do what is necessary to look after the AP, the LSO, myself and in the last two months a swathe of visitors. If I had more freedom what would I do? Probably not a huge amount that is different except there would be a choice. At the moment there are no opportunities to do anything without a great deal of planning. The saddest thing really is the lack of incentive to do the preserves and pickles that I have produced in the past. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work they all entail and yet three years ago I would produce two batches a day without a thought when the fruits and vegetables were in abundance.
Does any of this reflect my mental attitude? Indeed it does and I am aware that I am becoming less out-going and beginning to turn in on myself. This insularity is worrying as it is a huge barrier to overcome if it is allowed to take hold.
My diet is not doing too well either as I struggle to cope with the demands of different attitudes to food not least my own! A ‘mañana’ attitude prevails as in ten days the AP heads northwards for a month and I am finding it hugely convenient to put off the realities of cutting back on carbs and calories until then. So I must pull myself together, think positively, become more determined to sort all this out and not work against myself.
Well, that’s the plan no doubt there will be modifications on the way.