Think. To employ one’s mind rationally and objectively in evaluating or dealing with a given situation. As a verb it means to have a conscious mind, to have some extent of reasoning and the ability to make rational decisions. To also consider something as a possible course of action as well as to invent or conceive something as in, have a plan. Probably the definition that most springs to mind for me is to have consideration or regard for someone, to think of others first. There is also the belief that something is true of someone or something as in ‘to think evil of the neighbours’ and there are many more.

There are the idioms too, such as, to think better of, to think fit, to think nothing of, to think twice. All this is assuming that the person doing the thinking has all their faculties intact.

Where is this going? Well the AP’s latest affectation is to use the word ‘think’ employing a sarcastic tone of voice when she cannot remember a word and substitutes some nonsense instead. This latest happening was during a discussion at the dinner table about the tennis that led on to her saying that ‘another one’ must be starting soon. Not sure what ‘another one’ was we asked and the response was a sarcastic ‘think’ what game is played with a ball and a stick. Well we could think (that word again) of quite a few and asked which game was she referring to? The screwed up face was the first response followed by ‘ you know perfectly well what I mean’. Of course I guessed it was the snooker the AP was referring to and she had forgotten the name temporarily but to try and imply that we were somehow in the wrong was just plain silly.

As a one off I could see the funny side but there appears to be a pattern emerging here. This morning I am preparing a second batch of marmalade when the AP bumbles into the kitchen. I decide to update her on some of our movements next week and ask her if she would like a particular friend for lunch next Thursday. She thought (that word again) that would be a good idea and would ask her today. After a bit of a conversation about the time she was being picked up she announced that she would ‘have to put the thing in the thing when she got back later’. This time I had no idea what the AP meant and ask what ‘thing was she putting in what thing’? Now that was foolish of me, the response was, yes you’ve guessed, ‘think’ said with the attitude of are you thick? It was Oscar Wilde who said ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ and he was not wrong. I’m not sure which is worse though the present use of ‘think’ or ‘joke’ when the AP has been truly insulting.

Unfortunately this morning I wasn’t amused and pointed out that I had no idea what she was talking about and not to to tell me to ‘think’ in that way. It could have been anything really, put something in the bin, put a teabag in a cup, put her water bottle in her bag, put her stick in the car when I realised what she probably meant was to put the dates for next week on her calendar.

These unpleasant outbursts are all part of the AP trying to manipulate and control us but it will no longer work.

I think the moral to this sad little tale is that The LSO and I should have ‘thought twice’ and to have weighed up things more carefully before making our decision four years ago. We should have thought about what we were doing in much greater depth before taking on such a huge responsibility.

Ah, the value of hindsight!